The Twitter Critter

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(To the tune of “Going The Distance” by Cake)


Uncomfortably hunched over their smart phones

Thumbs and fingers creaking in their bones

The students focus, their lecturer moans

They forget about class and slip into their zones


They laugh at the memes they made about the Brady Bunch

And upload to Instagram photos of their lunch

The green light flashes, they answer the call

And casually chatting they leave the lecture hall


An offline geek but an online hero

He knows everything digital from the one to the zero

He ruined his eyes from using the computer too much

But he’s still sitting there in an uncomfortable hunch


The sun has gone down and the moon has come up

His lecturer has long ago given up

But he’s typing, he’s tweeting,  he’s checking facebook

And has no idea of the time that it took


He’s checking his Twitter!

He’s typing his tweet!

He’s all alone (all alone!)

All alone but he thinks its 1337!

Because he’s the master guru of social media

He’s pretty much a human encyclopedia

He’s checking his Twitter…

twitter 99 problems

The Rooftop Ninja

This is a song about an awesome dude who bounces around on rooftops, by Media Agency NZ.

Sleek, meek, but hardly weak

He doesn’t know the date or the day of the week

All he knows is awesomeness and it fuels him to jump

And bounder and shimmy all the way to the dump

He climbs up the fence by basically running

And bounds under the hedge in a way that is stunning

He doesn’t know stuff like why people wage war

He just knows how to jump like a ninja with paws.



Ninja Kitten! Freakin awesome cat!

Wish I could do that stuff, you know where its at!

Ninja Kitten! You got the real street nous!

Boy I wouldn’t want to be that poor mouse!




By Captain Corelli

The Baptist Church, like show and tell

Is where you take your mate, your pal

And show him what cool things you found

In the word regarding Christ.

You show him verses that point out

God’s Spirit fills us in and out

Within to feed us day by day

Without to guide us what to say.

Sole Music

By Busy Lizzy

Verse 1

I went to my best friend’s wedding

Where he was marrying some chick who’s not me

I took a few more sips of champagne than I should have

So I stood with a kind of a lean

I was standing in the grass with my high heels

My heels sank right into the dirt

They left holes in the grass just like soccer shoes

But you can’t play soccer in high heels, can you now?



I have a problem with my inner sole

The inner sole of my shoe

My inner soul is empty and vacant

I know what its missing, its you

The shop said “Inner Soles NZ

“Where we fix up your feet real good”

But then I left them at home when I came to the wedding

Now my inner soul is feeling alone

Verse 2

I hit you up for a chat on Facebook

But I changed my mind pretty quick

You changed your relationship status

And uploaded your wedding pics

My shoes that I wore to the wedding

Are muddy and covered in grass

So I sat at home today and ate ice-cream

And reminiscined of our past

Ballad of Joe Bloggs

 by Tim Shillinoi

Verse 1

Well there was once this guy called Joe

Who had such a generic name

That people always thought he was joking when he introduced himself

Every time it was always the same

They said “no, really, just tell us your name, man

You don’t have to be so humble”

He told them over and over again

“I’m not being humble thats my fricken name alright?


My name is Joe Bloggs

Joe f$$%^ing Bloggs, okay?

No thats not my middle name, I’m just upset

My middle name is Ivan

Shut up no its not funny

Don’t you think I’ve heard it a thousand times

I’ve suffered since I was a kid

Can we change the subject? Nice weather today huh

Verse 2

So he decided one day he had had enough

He was going to make it worthwhile

Instead of changing his name he was going to stand proud

And take it an extra mile

So he became a famous comedian

And became a big hit on Youtube

Every show he made, he proved his point

He’s already the most famous person in the world

* * *

Because everybody’s always talking about him.